Fire eater
by thatsabingo
Summary: watchmen. ASSES. ADVENTURE OF ASSES. ASSES 2. AND NOW, ASSES 3! IT'S NOT EVEN KHR! NOR SE RELATED NOW!
1. Chapter 1

I only write sugoi fanfics for sugoi people, such as myself.

"Murderer, Jack the Arsonist, I'm here for your charcoal." This is the land of Fire Eater, created by a master illusionist. "Holy hat, Magma! The charcoal!" Yelled out my companion, Fire. He was always beyond kawaii words; his flamey red hair always had mystified me. It looked like flames burning on the sun. His hair was not always red, it was sometimes orange, and streaks of yellow. Sucking on a Sweat A Nut, I crumpled the can like a bug. A nasty icky poopy bug that resembled Peevil Punderwood, that creepy little grin on his face and shitty bug monsters he always had. "Chicken shit!" I yelled out, our 99th charcoal was escaping as I had a witty metaphor planned out for the description of crushing my can. Fire turned to me, "But then who was watch?" "CHICKEN SHIT!" "But then who was watching the wa-" AND SUDDENLY A GAINT SHARK ERUPTED OUT OF THE GROUND, GLITTER AND ALL. "VOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "CHICKEN SHIT!" "Holy hat!" "

SHE SUDDENLY HIT THE CEILING.

Mindfuck. There was no fire eater. It was all an illusion.

The watches watching the watchmen. Then who's watching the watch? The next 2 watches being made. Then who was watching those 2? There's no answer.

Then who was watching the watch?

Lots of screaming for 30 minutes.

ADRIEN! NO! HOW COULD YOU!?

NITE OWL'S A SLUT!

MINDFUCK. IT WAS TSUNA. TSUNA WAS THE RETARDED BABY TROLL THING. MALE PREGNANCY WAS EVERYWHERE.

RORSCHACH DON'T MISS! NITE OWL YOU MISSED! PEEPEE.

RUNNING IN THE 90S!

GIANT ASS BLUE DONG.

DINO WAS ADRIEN. GAYASS HORSE.

SOMEONE WAS SOMEONE'S KID. MINDFUCK. THERE WAS NO KID. IT WAS ALL AN ILLIUSION, NO MALE PREGNANCIES WERE FOUND.

SPOIL ALERT! THEY ALL DIED. IT WAS ALL AN ILLUSION. EVERYONES FAGGOTS.

RORSCHACH WANTS BEANS AND SUGARCUBES!

**MY FAGGOT HAD A TURTWIG.**

SAND IN ADIREN'S BED. RORSCHACH WANTED BLANKETS. HE WAS SLEEPING IN THE STREETS WHERE HE USUALLY LIVES. GO BACK HOME.

DANIEL TELLS US A BED TIME STORY! GOLDIE LOCKS! THE THREE LITTLE BEARS! TSUNA, HIBARI, DINO, AND MUKURO WAS A WOLF. DINO WAS GOLDIE LOCKS.

WE HATE THE SUN.

Daniel: IT'S OKAY GUYS! GUYS CALM DOWN! STOP IT! STOP FIGHTING!

SPOLIER ALERT. THERE WAS NO REBORN.

RORSCHACH'S JOURNAL. I WANT SOME BEANS.

IT TURNED INTO A LIGER.

DERPRA.

RORSCHACH'S A GIRL. THEY'RE BOTH REDHEADS.

BLACK STONE.

M.O.M.

RESIDENT EVIL 5. COME ON HURRY UP. THANKS. WESKER IS ADRIEN.

WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS?

ONCE UPON A TIME. THERE'S WAS A LITTLE BOY NAMED ADRIEN THAT WOULDN'T SHUT UP AND WOULDN'T GO TO BED.


	2. Chapter 2

ASS 2.

MINdFUCK.

VECTOR LONG ARMS. GIANT ASS. Surrounded IN A WORLD OF WEABOOS COMES ONE RETARD NAMED XIGBAR. HE HAS LASERS SUCH. MINDFUCK. IT'S A FAT WOMAN. XIGBAR WAS ONCE NORMAL. HE GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN NAMED KEY WEST. HE HAD MANY SIBLINGS. BECAUSE OF THIS, XIGBAR WAS TROUBLED BY THE NEED FOR ATTENTION. SO SHE ENJOYED TIRES.\

HER VECTOR ARMS STRETCHED ACROSS THE BUILDING, ATTACKING MAKA. MAKA WAS IMMEDIATELY RUSHED INTO THE MICHEAL AMBULENCE. ELMO IS FUCKING STUPID; SWINE FLU HAS KILLED EVERYONE AND TURNED INTO FAT WEABOOS. VROOMVROOM THE MICHEAL JORDAN AMBULENCE PULLED AWAY, AND IT RAN INTO THE CASHCAB. HOMOSEXUALS ATTACKED, MAKA WAS THROWN OUT OF THE AMBULENCE BUT SAVED BY SOUKL.

He encountered the four awesomest people, and did not know how to react. He soon sputtered out homosexual nonsense and was thrown back into the Michealmobile. Then he was attacked by a fearsome wizard, with longvectorarms, name Shitfaced. Xigbar had barked up the wrong tree. There were homosexuals and they were approaching fast. Xigbar had barked up the wrong tree yet again. The homosexuals were approaching swiftly. Xigbar had surprisingly meowed up the wrong tree. Suddenly, pensises, everywhere. And then homosexuals erupted out of the ground and attacked Xigbar, but they were no match for the fearsome wizard and the slut flaps we knew as the little mermaid. Knock, knock, Xigbar's at the door.

Once upon a time, there were 4 little weeaboos, and then a black woman wearing a purple tee-shirt approached. She was swift, but not as swift as a homosexual. Suddenly, mindfuck, there was no black women, it was all and illusion, there was actually a homosexual wearing a cute pink hat. Then Derpra fell from the sky crushing the homosexual illusion. Then the fearsome wizard appeared and starting fighting the mighty Derpra. Shitfaced was being pushed back when he summoned his slut flapped companion, the little mermaid. Xigbar was barking up the wrong tree. Xigbar had run into the middle of the fight between Derpra and Shitface AND was immediately killed. SPOILER ALERT, XIGBAR WAS KILLED. MINDFUCK HE WAS BROUGHT BACK AS A ZOMBIE. Xigbar then ran around mindlessly asking, "Are you guys alright?" Then a butter knife flew through the air, thrown by the mighty and awesome hibari. She vanquished the foe of Xigbar, but that wasn't good enough. Erika the zombie was still on the loose, and was turning all the weeaboos into her zombie minions, with "Things that Rhyme with Orange". Sabine couldn't take this villain on alone; she had to call on the help of her friends, lambo, tsuna, and that one fanmaka, squalo. SPOILER ALERT, THEY DEFEAT MUKURO THE END. MIND FUCK MUKURO WAS ACTUALLY SHITFACE, THE FEARSOME WIZARD. With MUKURO out of the way the only task left was to get rid of all the weeaboos that MUKURO had turned into zombies. MIND FUCK THE ZOMBIES ARE ACTUALLY JUST HOMOSEXUAL ILLUSION.

The wizard's back story.

One thunder stormy night the wizard chased the 4 little destructive makas to a corner all screaming like murderface. The wizard was about to use his bleach hair powers to destroy them. The corner they were in was surrounded by the homo sexual illusion. Fat showers everywhere from the weather channel. Plus death kid. Then just when the wizard was going to end their life, they started talking Korean. The wizard couldn't stand it and to express his angry he started eating all the illusions. Even though the maka were saved, the world was being corrupted; it was turning into bargain world. And that was the one wish they had their whole life. So after the wonderful disaster, they put their guns on. Went to the last jacon. And partied. After the party, they partied again. But there was one thing they missed...the motorcycle homo with the black long ponytail that wished to have a jack atlas card. This is where xigbar and the wizard resurrected.


	3. Chapter 3

STIGLITZ… THE STIG MISTER!!!

BATTER UP! A appalling sound came from Bear Jew's butt, a horrible fart. But who cares this is too stupid.

Landa fell down on the ground, Bear Jew BUSTIN INTO RAFTER. SO LANDA RAN INTO HIS PUSSY WAGON, WHICH BROKE DOWN AND CUED THE MEXICAN ESTEBAN TO SAY,

"_ze pussy wagon…"_

It was a sad day in Butthole land. The only good truck which ran on butthole fuel had broken down in the city!!!!

And then the city blew up because it sucked.

"MEIN FUEHER"

THAT'S OFFENSIVE

SO STIGLITZ RODE IN ON A RAINBOW THROUGH THE SKY AND PROCEEDED TO SCREAM, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUU THERE'S 14 TO 22 INCHES OF SNOW COMING!!!!"

Landa managed to repair the Pussy Wagon…with his Strudle Powers. "You have to wait for the crème!" He said heroicly. His dingo was there. But Landa didn't need the Pussy Wagon… he could run as fast as light because he was Jercules.

TITS.

MISSED A LIGHTNING BOLT!! ONCE UPON A TIME!!!

Kaiji was crying in the background while Landa, Stiglitz and Bear Jew saved the day from nothing. This has no plot, mind fuck. Bear Jew went to tell Aldo to FUCK A DUCK. Aldo turned into Feebus….then turned into a fetus, then died. Then turned back into Esmeralda…then died again!!! jk!!!! He was only 11 years old. Quentin was raised from Hell, AKA the City of DISSSSS, and screamed, "I WILL TAKE ALL OF THE MOMS WITH GOOD FEET BECAUSE THEY HAVE MOM CRUSHES."

BUT THEN…WHO WAS BINGO?

LANDA SHOT QUENTIN WITH HIS LASER EYE STRUDLE BEAMS, BUT IT WAS IN VAIN. QUENTIN HAD ALREADY GOTTEN TO HIS WEAKNESS…HIS EAR! THAT'S IN VANITY CRAFT! STIGLITZ WAS STABBING QUENTIN, BUT GOT SHOT AND DIED…LIKE ALDO…BECAUSE HE WAS QUAZI MOTO. WHAT A LOSER. IT WAS UP TO BEAR JEW TO SAVE THE…FUCK IT. TIME TO GO PLAY BASEBALL!! NO~! THE GAS PROBLEMS WERE TOO BAD!

DAVID BOWIE EMERGED FROM THE GROUND TO FIGHT QUENTIN…BUT HE DIED TOO. HE WAS SINGING GASOLINE, AND LIT HIMSELF ON FIRE FOR SHOWY EFFECTS…BUT IT WAS IN VAIN!!?!?!?!?! HE DIED AGAIN!!!! AND THEN TURNED INTO QUENTIN HIMSELF.

QUENTIN DIED TOO…LANDA WAS NOT ALIVE. ALDO DIED. BEAR JEW FLEW INTO THE SKY AND THE END.

Not reallyy~~!!!!!!

SAMUEL JACKSON CAME TO FIGHT THE FOREHEADED BEAST OF FEET CALLED QUENTIN. LANDA TOOK HIS EAR AND USED IT AS A BOOMERANG TO CHOP OFF HIS FOREHEAD…BUT IT WAS IN POOP!!!!! SO HE DIED. THEY ALL DIED.

Gordon freeman

No im not

Stiglitz was shooting a fighter jet into a truck.

Ellis died. "DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT KEEF"

ELLIS DIED FOR HIS INSOLENCE.

Holy shit

The end


End file.
